Be the Cat's Meow


Posted on: 09/02/2010

Somewhere among the twisted inter-webs humans (at least Western Civilization) have lost the ability to communicate. You may think, “How So?,” seeing as methods of communication are exponentially growing with the help of networking sites,  chat technology, etc., but the bottom line is we have forgotten the necessity of human interaction (i.e. oral communication).

No, I don’t count Skype or Chatroulette as “human interaction,” I mean actually sitting down and T-A-L-K-I-N-G and for more than a few minutes- and I also mean beyond, “What up, dawg?”, “Shit, nothing.”, “Coo, coo.”

I will be the first to admit I am more apt to text at times than call, but when it comes down to it certain things need to be discussed between people. For example, the other day I heard a story about a girl that was proposed to via text. Really? REALLY? So, you love your girlfriend SO much and want to spend the rest of your life with her, but you can’t actually propose to her in person? Are you really that busy? I would hope not. Another example is the infamous Sex in the City episode when Carrie is dumped by a Post-It- wouldn’t you prefer some closure as the dumper? What if that Post It glue lost some stickness and blew away- at the very least, are you willing to take that long shot risk?

Maybe those two examples are a little extreme, but let’s think of something more generic. Let’s make this really elementary for added effect too (seeing as this is the maturity level of adults that actually do these things).  Amy is upset her boyfriend as of third period (and now it is fourth) did not notice her tweets about needing a hug. Meanwhile, Sam is trying to take a math test and he is upset Amy never texted him back- too bad Amy left her phone at home. When the two run into each during passing period and nothing is mentioned about the text or tweet they give each other the cold shoulder. Both presume the other is a jerk and not worth their time and by sixth period they are officially over.

That scenario may be extreme on the other end of the spectrum, but I hope it at least gets my basic point across in the most simplistic way. We have become so used to broadcasting our lives through tweets, statuses, mass texts, etc., that we forget sometimes it is best for a one on one discussion. You can never assume anything, because, chances are, somebody else is thinking along the same lines as you.

There is a couple I know married for over 20 years and any spat I see them have deals with a communication gap. Instead of immediately discussing if one feels wronged or hurt about something they let it brew and it turns into a passive aggressive battle. Had one just said, “Hey, I don’t feel right about ____, can we change something to resolve this?” the petty arguments to follow would most likely be non-existent. The same goes for friends too. Talk to your friend if you feel there is a problem or if you are worried about them- it’s a little thing called conflict-resolution, really, you should try it. Of course it is easy to problem solve by pushing the complications aside, but at the end of the day it is best to solve your problems. They will still be there if you just run away- trust me.

I’m not blaming this entirely on technology’s influence on communication, but it definitely adds more opportunity for people to vent and attempt to problem solve with strangers online. Can these strangers online really tell you how to live your life? Can you really take a four question quiz to determine your entire life path? No and no.

My advice to you- just sit and talk! If you have a problem with your sibling- discuss. If you have a problem with a co-worker- discuss. If you have a problem with your spouse – discuss. There is no point in being bitter and miserable.  We won’t always agree with each other, but you can at least compromise. Don’t forget, we are all human and we all make mistakes- nobody is perfect and therefore NOTHING in life will be perfect. At the very least when you have your chat you will feel the weight of whatever burden lifted from you. People may not agree with everything you have to say, but they will understand it is how you feel and they will appreciate your openness. Sure, some people are more sensitive than others, but most likely you will be able to look back and realize how petty the issue at hand was.

Here is some inspiration to take with you:

“If we are strong, our strength will speak for itself. If we are weak, words will be of no help,” JFK

“Electric communication will never be a substitute for the face of someone who with their soul encourages another person to be brave and true,” Charles Dickens

“Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy,” Bill Cosby


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  • saracfry: Good post. Thank you. I think that you might appreciate an article I just wrote titled "The Purity of Love"
  • fullblather: Ugh. I'm happily married but I really hate Valentine's Day and the way it feels so forced. I also hate how people make it seem like something is "wron
  • matt: Be the right person, instead of looking for the right person.


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