Be the Cat's Meow

Archive for February 2011

Once again, it is the most wonderful time of the year for us single folk- Valentine’s Day.

Honestly, I’m not bitter that I don’t have a Valentine. It alleviates the pressure of having to buy some cheesy box of chocolates or trying to plan a “unique” V-day outing. Sure, maybe there is somebody out there that I care about, but I don’t need some Hallmark approved holiday forcing me to buy crap to prove that, yes indeed, I choo-choo-choose you.

I will be celebrating Valentine’s the best way- getting a haircut and facial over the weekend. I already treated myself to a Snoop Dogg concert and lots of sweets. Now that sounds like a fantastic time to me.

Valentine’s Day didn’t start bothering me until this past weekend. About 20 (I kid you you not) relatives, friends AND strangers asked if I had a Valentine over the weekend. When I responded no they proceeded to ask, “Why not?” or “Are you seeing anyone?”

First off, why does Valentine’s make it necessary that you need to have a “Valentine”? February 14 does not mean I need to scramble to find my soulmate- it’s just another day, come on. Also, screw all the people that had the audacity to ask me “why not?”- of course I love being the token single on Valentine’s, I plan it that way- come ON now.  Second, would you want anyone other than a significant other or spouse to be your special date? Why would anyone actively seek out a complete stranger just to be able to say, “Meet my Valentine ____________. Don’t ask me anything else about him, because I don’t know…”

All I have to say is the only love that will never turn their back on you is yourself- at least I would hope so.

My wish for everyone is to have a happy and stress-free Valentine’s Day regardless of your relationship status. I still think it is a stupid holiday, but at least it is an excuse to overindulge in sweets.

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I am a walking ball of anxiety.

All the time.

Seriously.

Well, maybe not so much all the time anymore, but definitely more than I lead people to believe.

Most people don’t know this. Most people tell me I send a calm vibe…I sure fooled them.

I have just learned how to conceal my anxiety from others. I can also say I have learned to combat it, but it will sneak up on me in the guise of migraines, upset stomach or insomnia. Most of all I have learned that taking a step back to breathe is generally the best solution.

Dealing with my anxiety has been a particular focus of my well being for the past year. In that short time I have been able to pinpoint triggers and explore alternatives to western medicine. It is very much mind over matter, but the physical pains don’t seem to abide by that rule. No matter how many times I say I will not let things get to me and no matter how confident I feel I can shake it off, I can’t. Well, I can shake the negative thoughts off, but I can’t shake-off the lack of sleep or pounding migraines.

This makes me wonder, can we really deal with things in a mind over matter manner? Maybe that is just a higher level of consciousness that few manage achieve. Regardless, aren’t we supposed to listen to what our bodies are telling us? If we run a fever or have a toothache isn’t that our body’s way of telling us something is wrong? What about our gut instincts- aren’t we supposed to take “that sinking feeling” to heart when making decisions?

Unfortunately, I can’t answer any of these questions. I can tell you that lately I keep feeling that pit in my stomach and don’t know if it is stress related or if it truly is that all knowing “gut feeling.” I say trust your gut, but when your gut tends to be unpredictable like mine it is hard to tell when I should.

My advice to everyone else is to listen to your body. I know it sounds silly, but sometimes our bodies tell us things we don’t realize or even things we choose not to realize. Obviously, something triggered your physical reaction. You may not know what at the time, but, with time, you will come to realize what your gut reaction meant.

Unless you are my mother, who has gut reactions over the smallest issues…

…but that is an entirely different story…


**EDIT: For the record my gut was telling me something**


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