Be the Cat's Meow

My Hank Moody Complex

Posted on: 04/26/2011

Lately, I feel like Hank Moody. If you don’t know, Moody is the main character of Californication played my long-term-older-man crush David Duchovny. His obstacle(s): overcoming writer’s block (and also getting his ex back).

This is how I look when I try to write these days. Actually, I pretty much have this face ALL THE TIME.

Okay, maybe I should specify that I feel like him with the exception of the promiscuous sex with many women…

…and to clarify I have a non-existent love-life…

and I do share most of his vices (once again, excluding the “women” factor and also coke use).

Anyways, what I am trying to say is writer’s block is the worst. Prolonged writers block is even worse. Writing is a meditation to me and this roadblock has been driving me insane.

I am supposed to be a writer. I am supposed to be a visionary. WHERE IS MY VISION?!?!!

Just sitting here & writing this now is like figuring out the easiest way to pull my own teeth while standing on my head.

Really.

Maybe not quite to that extent, but inspiration and creativity have seemed fleeting to me. Whenever I sit down to write it turns into me staring at the paper or computer until my eyes burn. Then I become frustrated that something that was once so easy is now inexplicably hard.

Like Moody, maybe part of my block is due to the inability to move on from a past relationship. Maybe that subconsciously was my muse. Maybe that was what sparked the imagination which lurks deep inside. Maybe. Maybe.

But alas, I am not Hank Moody and I won’t find solitude in sex-capades and trying to win back the heart of a past love.

I will continue to sit and stare hopelessly.

Hopeless as a dog chasing it’s tail.

Not quite, but sometimes it feels that way. I, however, can admit I did find solace in REM’s Everybody Hurts. The song appropriately came on the radio after a long day and brutal workout. It was bittersweet (and ironic since I was also physically hurting- but in a good way) to hear Michael Stipe gently remind me “everybody hurts  sometimes.” It was the nudge I needed to shake it off and that it is only human to feel that way (sometimes). Thank you, Mr. Stipe, I appreciate it. I will never forget when I was lucky enough to watch you live at Madison Square Garden and I may have even cried when you sang this song.

I guess Moody and I aren’t so alike after all. For now, writer’s block still plagues me and I am overly-elated that I was even able to write this sorry excuse for writing. At least it is a sign that there is hope. I doubt Moody has ever had any hope, that self-loathing hot bastard.

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  • saracfry: Good post. Thank you. I think that you might appreciate an article I just wrote titled "The Purity of Love"
  • fullblather: Ugh. I'm happily married but I really hate Valentine's Day and the way it feels so forced. I also hate how people make it seem like something is "wron
  • matt: Be the right person, instead of looking for the right person.

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