Be the Cat's Meow

Archive for November 2012

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Posted on: 11/28/2012

The Grass is Always Greener: The Worst Things Married People Can Tell Single People

Unlike this author, I have only been on the single side of the fence. I was practically married at one point, but alas…

Being single has perks, but I do agree that sometimes you married folk should think before you speak! When was the last time you were the only single at a table filled with couples at a wedding- the worst possible scenario to be without a plus one. Not to mention the nightmare scenario of single you slipping in the shower, choking on a gummy bear, etc. and laying helplessly as your cats do absolutely nothing and watch you bleed or choke to death. I wouldn’t mind a warm body that isn’t one of my cats either. As much as I love to snuggle with them it isn’t quite the same, not to mention they are more apt to wake me with a butt in my face (maybe some couples are into that, but me, not so much….

The next time you tell a single person how jealous you are of their “freedom” think about how many times we get put on the pedestal to be poked & prodded for being part of a dying civilization.

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I figured a rant could be justified by my prolonged absence…deal with it.

These days I have found myself in many new places- both physically &
mentally. It’s as though I have freed myself from an abusive relationship
(which is true in some ways).

One of my newest endeavors is on the job front. I work in a University now
and, for the most part, my cohorts are older men. There are a few women in administrative positions, which means I have repeatedly been subjected to the worst interrogations possible- i.e. “Are you married?” (I reply,
“No”), “Do you have children” (I say “No” again) and awkward silences
follows.

Unfortunately, work isn’t the only place I am reminded I am single. When I go out and try to meet new people OR reconnecting with people (eg. my ten year reunion, eek), one of the first questions is, “are you seeing anyone?” Luckily, this is typically preceded by “You look great,” but still, I’d rather not be reminded that, somehow, all these asshats are getting married and divorced and I can’t even get a date.

I still don’t understand why this has to be the primary conversation
starter. Why is my life narrowed down to these questions? Just because
I am a female approaching 30? Since women NEED men to be adequate? Why don’t you bother to ask me a question that is, actually, about ME?

I never thought anything was wrong with being single & childless at 28,
but the more people ask, the more inadequate and depressed I feel. Just shake it off, I think and I instantly feel better knowing that I don’t have to depend on anyone.

Meanwhile, everyday I log on to facebook someone else is getting married
and/or popping out a kid. When did this suddenly become a priority? Did we
all mature and nest or is it a frantic race to pair off before it’s too
late?

Honestly, I feel like it’s the latter. I don’t like being rushed when I am
choosing my lunch and no way would I want to rush to pick a husband. I
know others feel that way, but I have a strange feeling the weight of
societal standards got to them first. They probably have an inkling of
doubt lurking deep down inside, but it will take a few years before logic
kicks in. I would like to think, years from now when people go through
their separations, they will respect & better understand my decision to
wait.

I just would like to feel love again- to feel that excitement and giddiness. When I’ve had a shitty day I want to have someone to hold me.  I want to have someone to confide in. Conversely, I’m not ready to break my wall down until I know it’s worth letting someone in.

At the end of the day, I will return to an empty house seeking
companionship from my cats. Yes, it can get lonely, but I’d like to think
it is worth the wait.


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