Be the Cat's Meow

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My 29th birthday is quickly approaching and I am way more excited than I expected to be. Last year was amazing and this year is even more promising.

I experienced a ridiculous quarter life crisis (which most likely barely ended last year), so I foresaw the worst for my “almost 30” birthday.

Life the past few years has been sort a “Twilight Zone” for me. Naturally, I have always know that, inevitably, we all age, but, for whatever reason, it seems to catch you off guard, regardless. 

My mom had me when she was 21. Growing up this set the imaginary bar for “adulthood.” I guess I also imagined I would be married with a child around the same time. 21 came and went and I realized there was no way in hell I was mentally, emotionally, financially, etc. ready for either of these.

Years came & went my friends gradually started pairing off and the birth announcements started trickling in. It was surreal at first (and at times still is) and although I knew it was not my time I felt this strange pressure (biological clock, anyone?) to partner up and pop out a kid. Moreover, it made me wonder, “What is wrong with me, why am I still single?”

As a long time serial dater, it felt weird to always be the lone ranger at events. I even refused to go ANYWHERE by myself- restaurants, movies, shopping, concerts, bars, museums, etc. Why would I want people to see me alone? I don’t want to be the person that people feel sorry for or for them to think I’m flawed, because I’m alone. I grew bitter about missing events, because I couldn’t find anyone to go with.

Then it happened. I was forced to dine out alone. I had a forgotten Groupon set to expire & I couldn’t find anyone to go with. My options were 1) let the money go to waste or 2) suck it up and get some dinner, ALONE. So I went to eat by myself. Granted, I had my nose buried in a book the whole time, but it was amazing! Plus, I came to realize everyone else in the restaurant was so focused on their own outing they probably didn’t even notice the single girl sitting in the corner reading.

This was about 2 years ago and since I have seen some amazing concerts (hell, I even meet the artists sometimes), dined out, traveled, museumed, etc, etc, ALL BY MYSELF!

I know it sounds silly, but it made me realize I’m not part of a dying race (although it feels like it sometimes) and I am still working on me- and that is okay! 

In the words of Kelly Clarkson, “Doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone.”

If I had forced myself into the married with children box already I wouldn’t know so much about myself. I wouldn’t be as comfortable and confident in my skin. Not to mention all the lessons learned in between. 

So I embrace approaching the end of my 20s! I can look back and laugh at my early 20s stupidity and feel proud with how far I’ve come. AND I am ecstatic that I have the freedom to grow and do what I want. Sure I want a family someday, but for now I need to take care of me first. Nobody else can!


It is that time of year again. A time of empty resolutions and promises made to be broken- the beginning of a new year.

New year means a clean slate, right?

UHm, nooooooooo.

Let me break it down-

A year is just a unit of time. A unit measured by the time that it takes a planet to revolve around the sun. 

We are humans and use “years” to indicate our numerical (because some people are mentally younger..)age or to track time.

Years come and go independently of our existence. A change in the year does not automatically create a change within. Did you feel something happen within you at midnight on New Year’s Eve? 

Maybe you felt bloated from too much champagne and cheese dip, but nothing mentally changes automatically.

So why don’t you just change for the best whenever possible? There’s nothing wrong with deciding to make a resolution on a day other than January 1. Why the hell not?

Last year was the BEST of my life…to date. I was ecstatic to go into the Holiday season cheerful and stress free. As luck would have it situations beyond my control took place and I had to deal with someone else’s problems. I didn’t have to, but what else do you do when someone you love has had a traumatic series of weeks?

Don’t get me wrong, of course I want to do everything I can, but I have yet to understand why some people feel change is beyond their control.

If I decided I want to change my attitude am I supposed to tell my friend, so they can fix it for me?

Frustrated beyond belief I had to continuously reiterate being positive works wonders. It is what it is, so you can be pissed off and do nothing or you can find the silver lining. It is truly about attitude and accepting that some things are beyond control. Her excuse was, “only people with good lives are positive.”

I call bull. Some of the most positive people I know have lived through unimaginable crap and you would never know. I’m not saying to be ignorant or oblivious, but understand that your attitude is something that can always be changed- AT ANY TIME.

Obviously, I realize some situations are harder to deal with and that makes it difficult to stay positive. If you just try I guarantee it will help. Even if it is the slightest bit, but it beats being miserable right?

All I am trying to say is stop making excuses or stop waiting for Jan. 1 to make a change. Start with yourself now! You are the only person that can take care of yourself. Sure you have loved ones that can also care for you, but only you know and feel what you truly need.

Nothing is perfect. Nothing is easy. That is okay and it helps us shape who we are. Just grow some balls and take action to change what you don’t like. Nobody can help you unless you start to help yourself first. 



These days I feel like I am turning into Carrie Bradshaw- or should I say I am getting Carrie-ed away?

Sorry, I had to go there…

Winter’s entrance indicates the rapidly approaching holiday season. A time for cheerful decor, cozy clothing and, of course, plenty of festivities. I’m all for celebrations, especially those that involve eating and drinking, but I don’t understand why all these gatherings have morphed into couple events. 

I thought the holidays were about spending time with those you love? Wouldn’t this imply that you don’t necessarily need a plus one? After all, you can love someone that isn’t necessarily your lover.

I guess I am just tried of getting invites and being told, “you can bring a date.” 



1) I am not dating and anyone that knows me knows that.

2) Why the hell would I drag a first date to some holiday party where even I don’t know everyone there?

3) Do you think I would use a holiday party as an excuse to find a date??

Maybe I am just being bitter after being overloaded with seasonal stock images such as:



or even this older couple frolicking on a grassy knoll:



I want to frolic that too much to ask? I guess I should say, I want to be able to frolic alone without people feeling sorry for me.

In closing, I have one Christmas wish for all the couples out there,

…of course I still have wishes for the masses- world peace, happiness, the norm…

anyways, my one wish for couples:

Can you please embrace us single folk as we are and simply let us be solo at your holiday events? We obviously love you if we show up as the lone ranger at your party, so let’s leave the dating discussion for another day or, say, never.

  • None
  • saracfry: Good post. Thank you. I think that you might appreciate an article I just wrote titled "The Purity of Love"
  • fullblather: Ugh. I'm happily married but I really hate Valentine's Day and the way it feels so forced. I also hate how people make it seem like something is "wron
  • matt: Be the right person, instead of looking for the right person.


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