Be the Cat's Meow

Posts Tagged ‘Apocalypse

I would just like to know about the evolution of the significance of Saturday, May 21. How did it go from being the Rapture to the Zombie Apocalypse? Or is this origin of all the “Zombie Jesus” talk?

Christian ministry radio station leader Harold Camping, of Family Radio, started preaching his message of the Rapture (to be followed by the end of the world October 21) back in January. The “all-knowing” Camping bases his certainty on a mathematical equation based on 7,000 years after the flood of Noah’s Ark. Now exactly what his equation is or how he obtained it is another story. Perhaps his meeting with God was similar to that of Joseph Smith, but that in itself is another story…

What I do know, after 12 years of Catholic schooling, is the Bible claims that only God knows when Judgement Day is. I am also pretty sure the anti-Christ is supposed to present himself before any of this takes place (and no Snooki is not the anti-Christ). I can’t tell you the exact passage nor do I feel like looking for it, but ask anyone else familiar with the Bible and they will tell you the same.

I also know that Camping has a civil engineer background and (it gets better) he predicted the Rapture back in 1994…oh wait, what year is it now? 2011? So, 1994 came and went and life continued? If you don’t believe me you can buy Camping’s book about this end of days event which never happened. He says it was due to “mathematical error,” and now,

“Beyond the shadow of a doubt, May 21 will be the date of the Rapture and the day of judgment” (Huffington Post).

Somehow all this Rapture talk prompted the Center for Disease Control to (quietly, mind you) post Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse. The CDC was kind enough to provide a brief history of zombies,  suggested emergency kit items and emergency plan. Now I don’t even know where to begin with this. How did we go from the coming of Jesus to zombie takeover? I’m not sure what lines were blurred together for that to even happen. Naturally, certain people (like my mother), tend to have anxiety attacks over this sort of pandemonium, which blows things even more out of proportion.

The bottom-line is none of us will know the fate of May 21st until, wait for it, Saturday, May 21st. Sure you can believe what you want and take whatever precaution you find necessary, but keep your panic attacks to yourself. Think about what happened with Y2K and 6.6.06- that’s right, nothing happened. Some people chose to freak out and it was all for nothing. Plus, if something really does happen it’s more difficult to think rationally when you are having an anxiety attack.

I apologize in advance if I am wrong and the zombie-rapture-whatever takes place. Just remember, you can outrun a zombie if all else fails. In the meantime, I just plan to watch this as much as possible through tomorrow:

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Unless you live in a desolate cave out in the middle of nowhere you have probably read about the “end of days” incidents involving dead birds falling from the sky and dead fish washing ashore. Obviously, this sparked my interest since it resembles something out of the X-Files.

If you do live in a cave or just don’t keep up with current events, here is a recap. It all began December 30, 2010 in Rio de Janerio, Brazil. At least 100 tons of dead sardines, catfish and croakers washed ashore. Then New Year’s Eve thousands of dead birds fell over Beebe Arkansas. In the following days (up until today) incidents include:

  • 100,000 dead fish found along a 20-mile stretch between the Ozark Dam and Highway 109 Bridge in Franklin County
  • 500 dead redwing blackbirds were found scattered along a quarter of a mile span of highway in Point Coupee Parish, Louisiana
  • Hundreds of dead birds were found near the Murray State University (KY)
  • Hundreds of fish washed ashore on St. Clair River in Sarnia, Ontario, Canada
  • Thousands of dead fish washed up along Spruce Creek, in Orange Florida
  • 2 million fish wash onto the shore of Chesapeake Bay in Maryland saw
  • 200 Dead birds found in Tyler, Texas on highway 155 over the Lake O’Pines
  • 150 dead grackles found on the side of the road in Wilson Tennessee

More recently, the “deaths” have extended beyond North America with:

  • 50-100 crows were found dead along a street in Falkoeping, West Sweden
  • 40,000 velvet swimming crabs washed ashore dead in Kent England
  • Hundreds of snapper fish, many missing their eyes washed ashore on New Zealand’s Coromandel Peninsula

Naturally, the immediate reaction of many has been, THE APOCALYPSE IS NEAR! Religious cooks are having a field day claiming this is society’s punishment for leading such sinful lives. I highly doubt either of these is true. If I am proven wrong at a later date I will publicly apologize before the four horsemen of the apocalypse come to sacrifice me.

Meanwhile, we have a handful of others that believe these events are not related whatsoever. I beg to differ. Did everyone forget about the BP oil spill that happened last April (which was not even sealed until September) that resulted in millions of gallons of spilled oil? What about the physical damage and irreversible damage done to the Gulf of Mexico? Well, BP did claim that the government “overestimated” the size and now everything is okay, so I guess we should believe those guys- I mean it’s not like they are trying to protect their image and need their BILLIONS of dollars-

Whoops…got a little sidetracked…any-who…

Fortunately, many scientists have been scrambling to find logical answers to this eerie mystery. It has already been discovered that many of the dead birds found in America died from blunt trauma internally. Prior to these events, many of the cities involved experienced brutal winds at up to 120 mph, which is a possible explanation for the mysterious injuries. Currently, they are still trying to figure out the what happened to the aquatic life and so far believe it was due to the extreme cold spell in those regions (causing a dramatic drop in water temperatures).

In the meantime many scientists have centered their attention on The New Madrid Faultline– a common thread for these catastrophes. The faultline is said to have the potential to be more lethal than the San Andreas Fault. Ooo, spooky. In 1812 the fault was responsible for the New Madrid Earthquake, which was one of the largest in American history. More recently, according to the U.S. Geological Survey, more than 500 measurable earthquakes have been recorded in central Arkansas just since September (hmm…the same time BP “sealed” the well).

Hmm…

So, maybe, just maybe, the BP well debacle happened to hit the New Madrid Faultline or it sparked a revival of seismic activity, which has caused this increase in earthquakes and possibly these odd atmospheric changes.

If you think I am talking out of my ass remember that the continents began as Pangea. Shame on you if you have no idea what Pangea is. Anyways, and excuse me if I don’t sound scientific here I am and English & Creative Writing major, the Earth’s crust is constructed of plates like a puzzle. The plates move very slowly, yet they do move. For example, faultlines are results of tectonic (plate motion) forces and are essentially gaps in the earth’s surface. Mountains are a visible product of plate collisions from the distant past and oceanic trenches (the deepest part of the seafloor) also indicate plate boundaries. So, perhaps, the deep drilling along the Gulf happened to hit a trench and trigger some reaction. It would be similar to the reaction caused if somebody hit a puzzle with a blunt object- not only would the area that came in contact with the object separate, but other sections would be affected as well. It may not be a dramatic separation in certain parts, but there would be a reaction nonetheless.

For now, we still don’t know what caused these strange incidents, so we can only speculate. I’m curious to see what scientists discover and even if the New Madrid revival is unrelated to the animal deaths I think that is something we will need to keep in mind. Even volcanoes that are said to be instinct have the slight possibility of coming back to life. I’m not trying to scare anyone- I am just reminding you Mother nature is a rabid beast. RABID.


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