Be the Cat's Meow

My 29th birthday is quickly approaching and I am way more excited than I expected to be. Last year was amazing and this year is even more promising.

I experienced a ridiculous quarter life crisis (which most likely barely ended last year), so I foresaw the worst for my “almost 30” birthday.

Life the past few years has been sort a “Twilight Zone” for me. Naturally, I have always know that, inevitably, we all age, but, for whatever reason, it seems to catch you off guard, regardless. 

My mom had me when she was 21. Growing up this set the imaginary bar for “adulthood.” I guess I also imagined I would be married with a child around the same time. 21 came and went and I realized there was no way in hell I was mentally, emotionally, financially, etc. ready for either of these.

Years came & went my friends gradually started pairing off and the birth announcements started trickling in. It was surreal at first (and at times still is) and although I knew it was not my time I felt this strange pressure (biological clock, anyone?) to partner up and pop out a kid. Moreover, it made me wonder, “What is wrong with me, why am I still single?”

As a long time serial dater, it felt weird to always be the lone ranger at events. I even refused to go ANYWHERE by myself- restaurants, movies, shopping, concerts, bars, museums, etc. Why would I want people to see me alone? I don’t want to be the person that people feel sorry for or for them to think I’m flawed, because I’m alone. I grew bitter about missing events, because I couldn’t find anyone to go with.

Then it happened. I was forced to dine out alone. I had a forgotten Groupon set to expire & I couldn’t find anyone to go with. My options were 1) let the money go to waste or 2) suck it up and get some dinner, ALONE. So I went to eat by myself. Granted, I had my nose buried in a book the whole time, but it was amazing! Plus, I came to realize everyone else in the restaurant was so focused on their own outing they probably didn’t even notice the single girl sitting in the corner reading.

This was about 2 years ago and since I have seen some amazing concerts (hell, I even meet the artists sometimes), dined out, traveled, museumed, etc, etc, ALL BY MYSELF!

I know it sounds silly, but it made me realize I’m not part of a dying race (although it feels like it sometimes) and I am still working on me- and that is okay! 

In the words of Kelly Clarkson, “Doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone.”

If I had forced myself into the married with children box already I wouldn’t know so much about myself. I wouldn’t be as comfortable and confident in my skin. Not to mention all the lessons learned in between. 

So I embrace approaching the end of my 20s! I can look back and laugh at my early 20s stupidity and feel proud with how far I’ve come. AND I am ecstatic that I have the freedom to grow and do what I want. Sure I want a family someday, but for now I need to take care of me first. Nobody else can!